Horned or Horny....you be the judge.

Once again, Miss Glam Camper has had no attention this week. I really don't know why, but I guess we needed some rest from Easter weekend, and never quite got there. And Smokin Dick has been neglecting his hobby, so we made a trip to Copper Breaks State Park for a cook off.

 

 

Jamey, Momma and I

 Momma and I relaxing a little.

The 7th Annual Horned Toad Cook-off. This is our fourth year. Got in some good visiting with Jimbo and Jamey from Sayre OK. (Saw the Fox's and the Strange's, too, but not enough visiting time with them.) It's been about a year since we've seen them. No better folks anywhere and I'm tickled to call them good friends!

 

Like how I just kind of skipped over the theme of the cook off? Horned Toad? First of all...who can call themselves a Texan and still call it a "Horned" toad? It's a Horny Toad. (Nothing dirty intended by the name, although I do know a dirty horny toad joke. Send me a private message and I might tell you! LOL It's a pretty funny one, if I do say so myself, you know, as far as dirty jokes so.) But I guess they are professional, and have to sound "grown up". Horned toad...whatever.

 

So how does one cook a horny toad? Well, it's not a requirement to be in the running for Grand Champion, as is the case in the Wild Hog Cookoff at Crowell, or the Buffalo Wings at Buffalo Springs (wild hogs are pretty easy to come by around here, but those flying buffalo are not quite so simple to spot! Or catch.)Since it IS a smoking competition, you would think you would smoke it. But, as in the buffalo wings comp, you can cook it any way you like. So we fried ours and sauced them like we do our wings.

Tastes like chicken.

 

Ok, ok...we didn't really cook HORNED toad. But we did have a bad bootie fish fry Friday night and Jimbo served up some alligator tail. I was skeptical, but it was really good!

Awwww...poor little gator.

 

Dicky did great at the cook off. Walked in every category, but didn't place in the money. Win some, lose some, huh, Babe? (He was Grand Champion last year.)However, My daddy, Jim Dandy Barbecue, won 1st place in Ribs! We are pretty excited!!! Go Poppo!!

 

 
 

He had a pretty tasty brisket, too!

 

Let me just tell you about the rewards of being a good wife. (Karma...good karma comes to those who are good wives.) So this weekend I really had junkin on my mind. Checking out every town we passed through on our way to Copper Breaks, hoping there would be some good places to stop. But I decided, "No, this is Dicky's weekend." (I'm talking to myself.) "I'm not even going to mention it."

 

So Friday morning we decided to go into Crowell and grab a breakfast burrito. I've got to back track a little. Our first year at the Crowell Wild Hog Cook-off, Pattie Dixon and I found the best junk/antique shop. I found some neat old picture frames and she bought a really nice antique desk. Well, every year I look for this guy, and didn't find him. I thought he had closed down after the first year. Well as chance would have it, his place was across from the cafe and he was still there, and open!!

 

I was going to keep my word to myself and told Dicky I would just run over while he was waiting on burritos. So Jamey and I ran across the street, but I guess I have passed on the junkin bug to him, cause he came over, too. 
The old man was still just as nice as before. He has lots of old fans. This was his mother-in-law's fan and he said it was from the 40's or 50's. Still works. Can you guess where it's going? He told us about a garage sale going on down the street. (Of course my deal with myself was off by then.)

An older lady was selling not just garage sale stuff, but (you got it!) junk! She has a booth at Canton and was getting rid of a few things she didn't want to carry with her.

 

 

I know these may not look like much to you, but these made my week!! Good karma, ladies! 

 

 I think Dicky and I are becoming Sanford and Son reincarnate. He being Sanford, and I, of course, being Lamontt (with maybe a little Aunt Esther mixed in.)





I'm going to apologize for the boring update, but it really was a good week, even with no camper work. We did camp, so I guess that kind of counts, right?

 

My goal this week? Electricity, of course, if I can get Sparky Dick busy. And maybe curtains! Read me up next week and see!

 

Have a fun and crafty week!! Toodly Poodles!

Happy Easter!

Well, Happy Easter Everybunny!! I hope you've had a most blessed holiday weekend, and didn't forget the reason for the celebration.

Our kiddos all came and I can't tell you how happy it makes me to hear them giggle and having fun together. Mind you, they ARE Dicky's kids, too. (I added the "too" because someone once heard me refer to them as "Dicky's kids" and immediatly shot her vote right in to the Vatican to have me nominated for sainthood, raising such hoodlums that weren't even mine!)

 

Youngest child, Chase, with his new fire jacket (I forget the correct name of it), and Bailey with GPoppy feeling little Halle kicking. I love my kids!

To explain, to those who may not know Dicky, or my kids, well....actually, you've got to know Dicky for it to make sense. And if you know Dicky, then you know what I mean by raising HIS kids. Very...........colorful. Yeah...that's a good word for it. Colorful! You never know what the angels are going to say or do. What topics may be discussed. Bailey thinks she's a gansta. Ever seen a pregnant gangsta? Chase...well, he is quite the intentional redneck. I don't know how MY kids, that I birthed from my very own, made-for-birthing-hips, took after their daddy so much. I just don't understand. I'm so calm and mild mannered. Well, at least they married people that would take my side once in a while. (even if one of them thinks the my favorite hair band from the 80's is Dep Lefford! LOL)

I do love my kiddos, but this is how I feel after any holiday.

Well, sometimes it's a Santa suit, or a turkey hat, but you know what I mean.

 

 

This is supposed to be about the camper, I know. Sorry. I get a little sidetracked sometimes. (The "(parentheses)" are the devil. I use them a lot, have you noticed? I think my brain just tries to think about too many things at once sometimes and I don't want to forget to say what I need to say. Or maybe I need to explain something a little more in detail and I'm afraid if I wait until another sentence, I'll forget what I wanted to clarify. Then the moment will have passed and I'll have to start over with a whole new paragraph.) (Make sense?)

 

Ok, so, what's going on with my little glamper camper?

 

I got some of the drawer and cabinet knobs on. Why just some, you ask, and not all? Well, it's like this. I am a project-a-holic. I do finish what I start, but I don't always finish what I start before I start something else. My brain cannot focus on one thing at a time, because when I'm working on one thing, something always triggers a "HEY...you know what else might be neat?" thought.

 

Oh, wait...my drawer knobs, right. Well, being the Obsessive Compulsive Crafter that I am, I bring in just a few Hobby Lobby bags pretty much every time I come in from Lubbock. Well, I can't seem to find the bag that holds the rest of my knobs. I sure hope I didn't toss them.

 

Anyway, here's what they look like...

 

 

ANNNDDD!! Exciting news!! I have windows! Technically I have only three windows. And sort of actually, technically, I have only two, because I'm going to have to redo one. So I sort of have TWO windows!! Exciting still, right?!

And the hardest one is finished. The one in the door. OMGoodness it was baaaaddddd. Old dirty silicone, over dried up hard gasket (bet you didn't think I knew what window gasket was, didn't ya?), and a very aged, yellow, with bad paint, and some other kind of dried up caulking glass.

I don't have a good one from the outside, but the inside was pretty bad, too.

Hope you can tell from the picture.

 

Well, Dicky (you know, the big, bad, strong man of the house, the muscles, the brains of all things manly and fixable) cut the windows for me. I skippy doodled on out to see what needed to be done to get them in, and he comes along and takes charge, like all men think they need to do. (Oh dear me! Please come help my delicate little self put in these big, scary windows!)

 

I'm going to assume, for the sake of assuming that you all know what word I'm talking about when I say "the f-word." (flibberty-gibbit, right.)  Well, after numerous attempts to get the gasket to stay in so the window could be put in, and a relatively short period of time, the flibberty-gibbit started flying from his lips rather freely. At one point he yanks the gasket from the window frame like an angry Zorro would snap his whip. Yes, flibbery-gibbiting quite profusely all the while.

 

So I say, in the delicate, feminine, submissive way that I always address my dear husband, "Gimme that! Look...this is how you do it!"

 

Surprisingly, he didn't argue. He did, however, make a statement that my idea "doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell" of working.

 

"What's it going to hurt to try?" I asked. We had certainly depleted all his ideas.

 

So, (I use the word "so" a lot, don't I?) we did it my way. And guess what? No, really, guess!

Looks like dirt, but it's really the vines reflecting off the back fence. It's really shiny and clear!

 

 

Nuff said, I think. Don't you? Well, maybe an "I told you so" should be thrown in. With just a pinch of "next time you should listen to me to begin with" sprinkled on top.

 

The only thing better than the satisfaction of doing it yourself? Successfully doing it YOUR way, AFTER your husband's way doesn't work! I love you, Babe! And there's no way I could make burgers nearly as good as the ones you cooked today!

 

What else...We put in the fridge! OH MY! That just kicked up my glamper excitement about five notches! No electricity, but man does it look spiffy!

Ok, so maybe you can't really tell from the picture, but come by and see for yourself!

 

Also, I've made a shutter shelf. it isn't hung yet, but it's going to be the bees knees! Picture next week.  

 

I found a whole ton of shutters at the Goodwill Pound Store last week! I didn't know there was such a place, but we happened to drive by and saw it. Almost everything in there is sold by the pound. It's really kind of cool, but in a bit of a nasty kind of way. I don't think I would have dug through the boxes without gloves, which most people had on, but I'm sure there are some really great finds!

 

I also got the cutest little 1950's metal toy cap gun for 11cents! (I don't know how to make the cents sign without looking up the alt-code. What a pain! Just give us back the cents key, already.) I looked it up on the internet and it's worth about $25-35. (the gun, not the cents key) I think I'll keep it. You never know when you might need a cool little vintage cap gun. I used mine this morning actually. Shot the whole bunch of them after breakfast this morning, for making fun of me. They acted like it didn't bother them, but they certainly straightened their asses up! (Well, piss! There's that pesky ass word again! I told you last week that was going to become a habit.)(Piss, IS NOT a cuss word, by the way. It's just a gross term like fart or poot. At least it's not flibberty-gibbit! I'd never use that word!)

 

OK, well, I've messed around and missed my show, so now I'll have to go hit up Tivo. One last Easter funny before I go. I think it's appropriate since I've done a lot of painting here of late.

Har-dee-har-dee-har-har!

 

Have a blessed, productive, crafty week! Toodle-loosies!

Should it be the "Nag" wagon?

  

Not a lot of progress to report this week. Smokin Dick has been busy and working late for the last two weeks.

I NEED windows and electricity and I'm at his mercy waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and...

You think this is supposed to be me, don't you. Ha! I don't wear heels! Gotcha!

 

I'm trying not to nag. But it's hard. Had it been up to me, I would have been through WEEKS ago! And he HAS been busy after all. But dang.

 Nagging a.k.a. lovingly intended aide-memoire

 

I did get a few good ideas. Been thinking a lot about what to do to the outside. My friend, Kimmy Lou (No that's not her real name, but if you are my friend...you get a nickname, Whether you know it or not. Whether you like it or not. And it's usually not the same every time. But in keeping with West Texas tradition, it will probably end with Lou, -poo, or Sue. And it will always transform your real name to end in the long "e" sound, regardless.). Oh wait...that wasn't a complete sentence...restart. My friend, Kimmy Poo Who, came by earlier today and we gave the old hag wagon a once over. She gave me some super duper ideas! And mixed with the picture Mindy Sue posted to me on FB, by George, I think I've got it! My fav color is PINK...that's all I'm saying about it now. Just ponder.......................

 

I'm also having to decide on flooring. Buy linoleum, tiles, or carpet, try the paper technique and do some fancy smancy decoupage, or paint and stencil some fantabulous design. I have such a stressful life. So many decisions!

 

So, what DID I do, since I haven't worked on the camper AGAIN this week?

 

I Well, I finished the stereo cabinet transformation. (You know, the one I was working on in the front yard, when Dicky took my picture, as I so delicately told him I was not particularly appreciative of his lack of help, his organization of his tools and equipment,or his amusement at my frustration. AKA-I flipped him the bird.) It now has a home in our bathroom as a supersize clothes hamper. Already to the brim with laundry to be done!

 

We also cleaned out junk stored in the house next door, since I think they are going to try to move it towards the end of the week! Yaaa HOOOO!

 

The junk included our Christmas tree and boxes of decorations. So we had to put it up in the attic, where it should have been put to begin with. So while he was up there, I asked Dicky to get out some baby things I had put up for the kids. Cause I'm having a grandbaby and all. Just incase you didn't know. I also asked him to get down something I've been dying to get my hands back on for a while! Actually begging him to get out for me!

 

 

YES! My flamingos!!!!!!!!! I know, I know! You love em, too! But sorry girls, these are mine!

 

Are you wondering why I had sixteen plastic flamingos in my attic? Doesn't everyone? I've been lead to believe that's where one stores their excess flamingos. Maybe I'm wrong. Regardless, they are free now.

 

I actually have a craft project to do with one.(Imagine that!) And then I think I may just display the rest of my flock in the Hag Wagon yard.

 

That last sentence lead me to a wonder. What exactly is a group of flamingos called. Well, according to Mrs. Google, who happens to be the authority of all strange and curious wonders I have, a group of flamingos has many collective nouns. They can be correctly called a  "colony", "flamboyance" (my favorite), "flurry", "regiment", or a "stand" of flamingos, But do you know what I call them?

 

 

Dicky won't let me put them in the front yard. He's just jealous it wasn't his idea.

 

So, since no progress to post, and I already blogged once this week, I guess that'll be about all I'll ramble about tonight. I do have real ambitions to get a few glamper things done this week. I just had to get some piddly projects out of my way first. And I kind of needed to dig a path through the house I've so pitifully neglected lately.

 

Hey...wait! I got a new vacuum! I won't say too much except that it's the BOMB! And we are some nasty ass people! (Yes I said ass...but you didn't see how much that machine sucked up out of my floor. We are nasty ass!) (or we WERE...now I have a bad ass vacuum) (oops...ass again. I guess that's how bad habits are made. Better watch my language.)

 

Ok...rambling done...toodle looo!

Ok...I'm a Hippo.

Oh my...

I'm sure by now you've all seen the infamous picture my dear, sweet, darling, loving, thoughtful husband posted of me on Facebook this week. I'm now VERY concerned.

I warned you! There might be some griping, ranting, yada, yada, yada on my little ole blog.)

Let me preface by saying...I'm really beginning to like this blog thing. I can voice my opinion. It's my page and no one is forced to see it, because it only shows up on anyone else's screen if you click on the link. Yall really should try this...or maybe I'm the only one willing to fly my freak flag so high! LOL

So do Shellee's parents. 

In case you are wondering (in reference to his FB picture of me)...my husband isn't dead. Nor is he injured....physically. But if he looks a little like this next time you see him, you'll know why! :) He's really scared of me. HE HE HE!

Actually I didn't really care. I don't personally post that kind of thing for the world to see. But no harm done, really. I could have made him take it off, or better yet logged into his FB and taken it off myself. 

My problem, you ask? Get to it, get to it! Well, it's not really a problem. More of a concern.

AM I A HYPOCRITE? A PRUDE? A HEATHEN?

Ok, admit it. We are all excited to see that "Liked" number raising on our Facebook posts. Even more fun to have actual comments. If you say you don't get at least a little, wee, tiny bit happy, then YOU, my friend are a HYPOCRITE! :(   (Don't be offended...I've decided that maybe that isn't necessarily a bad thing, given that I am now seriously concerned about my own hypocritical status.)

That being said...Dicky's picture received SOOOO MANNNYY  "likes" and comments. Most in my defense. But this is what concerns me.

1. Did you all like it because I looked sooo good sitting in the middle of my front yard covered in paint? Good hair day, maybe?

2. Did you like my finger in general? Take away the fact that it was my middle finger, we do all like cute little chubby babies. Why not my chubby little middle man?

3. Were you just cheering me on because I was giving Dicky the what for? He does deal out a lot of fun misery to most everyone he knows.

or 4. Were you just shocked that SHELLEE did something so appalling? You thought I was a MUCH nicer, more Christian person than that?

Soooo...if most of you chose #4, then what does that say about me? Am I a hypocrite?

According to this definition...#2 specifically, then maybe.

I'm mortified to have discovered this could be the truth of me.

My friends know me. They know I'm far from perfect. I really try to be "what you see is what you get", in all aspects of my life. Sometimes successfully, other times not.

But now I feel I have to defend my poor, trampled honor.

I'll say it again...I honestly do try to be ME. I don't follow the trends, for the sake of following. I don't claim myself to be a straight, Bible quoting, no-sinning Christian. (Although, shouldn't we all strive for this?)

BUT! I AM a Christian. And I think a good person. 

A very special person, in the heat of the moment, once told me, "You think you are so perfect." She couldn't be more wrong.

I am very critical of myself, but try to live my life honestly and in a way that would be pleasing to God. Do I always succeed? Absolutely not.

 ME --THE GOOD

I love my God. I am a very spiritual person, but maybe not so religious. I love inspirational sayings, scriptures, lessons. I listen to contemporary Christian music. I "think" about going to church on a regular basis. (Seem to be failing in that department here lately!)

I like to post happy things on my Facebook status. I like to post inspirational scriptures and quotes. Mostly for my own enjoyment, but if someone else can be uplifted from it, then so much the better! 

I don't lie. PERIOD. I don't cheat, steal, do drugs, etc.

I don't say hateful things to people. (Not intentionally. I have more than a few times found my self wondering what in the world made me say that, after a visit with someone.) Actually I'm very hard to offend and have to be provoked quite a bit to actually voice my irritation to anyone.

If you return my smile, I'm your friend. I've very silly, and though I have a sensitive, thoughtful side, I prefer to keep it light most of the time. 

THE BAD

I cuss. I flip off my husband from time to time (only when we are playing, but usually put it down before he snaps the picture).

 I drink alcohol occasionally. Accidentally heavily on one or two occasions. Oops! 

 I listen to rock-n-roll and rap music. (Oh for shame! )

There are people and things that I don't particularly like. I voice my not very nice opinions about those things to my closest friends. I DO NOT post it in public forums.

 THE UGLY

So does this make me a hypocrite (AKA Hippo from this point on)? 

Just cause he is so stinking cute. If I'm gonna be a "Hippo", I want to at least be cute! 

I smile at the people I don't like. I ask them how they are and listen when they tell me. I see no need in being hateful to someone simply because we are different and they may do things I am not crazy about.

You aren't going to see me drinking, cussing and swinging on the stripper pole in public. I try to be polite in polite company. (Also, I'm not a stripper, so the latter doesn't apply even in un-polite company.)

I have posted inspirational quotes during low, or hard times in my life. Also during super happy contented times. Not to preach to anyone, but to remind me of the lesson when I look back at my page. My cancer was a hard time, and my posts were very reflective. But I also had a good time when I felt up to it and tried to share all the good experiences and blessings as they came. Not to make myself seem "perfect". But to share my happy!

My very next post may be a picture of  Dicky and I in our outlet/plug costume for Halloween. (****GASP**** for shame! Was that really Shellee?) OR Dicky's post of my finger.

All this being said, Dicky's stupid picture has had me worried about what people really think about me. I asked a sweet friend (Don't worry, Belia, I'm not telling who you are.) "Do you think people think I'm a prude?" She honestly said, "Yeah. Well not those of us that know you. But maybe someone that doesn't know anything about you."  I am so glad she was honest with me.

Do I care? I often say just that..." I don't really care what people think about me." But I do. So do you. Admit it.

Someone posted something to the effect that " a grandmother shouldn't be doing that kind of thing." But Halle, and all Swannie Bob's future grandbabies are going to know the real Swannie Bob. Not  cussing and finger pointing, of course,(at least not until they are old enough to know "do as I say, not as I do" LOL)

To think a silly little picture, a joke between Dicky and myself, shared with all of you, has had me so disturbed. Good gosh... I AM a freak!

Sunday Hag Wagon update still coming! 

 

"Old" is the new "New"

Well, I don't have much progress to post in glamper land this weekend. Dicky's been busy at work and hasn't had time to get my windows or electricity going. I really hate to do too much to the inside with dust blowing in. (I almost said dust or rain, but looks like the rain is going around us again!)

 

I DID get the coolest little fridge in, though. (pun not intended...well yeah, actually I think I mean it. Intended. Cooooollll!) (Only I haven't plugged it in yet to make sure it works, so actually right now it's not cool.)

 

Restart...I DID get the hottest little fridge in, though. (Well, pooo...it's in the house so it's really not hot either.)

 

I got a fridge in. How blah that sounds....but look...

 

Cute, huh?

 

I love it! Can't wait to put it in. It's going to be perfect when I have a Trailer Trash Warming Party. I guess for now I'll keep it in the middle of the living room floor so I can admire it. At least until I can talk Dicky into moving it out of the way.

 

So what DID I do, since I didn't work on the camper, you ask? Well, if you are only interested in camper progress, then you can stop reading now. If you are truly prepared to be impressed...read on my friend!

 

The not fun part of the weekend...lost a dear friend to cancer this week. Bill and Joy Pool have come to be some of our sweetest friends. He served as Mayor on the city council with Dicky, and Joy was both Dicky and my HS English teacher. Bill was diagnosed nine months ago. The doctors told him he had six weeks, and being the strong man he was, he held on for nine months! She told us he had never been sick a day in his life, before the cancer. I told her he obviously didn't want to waste any more of the time he had with her than he had to being sick. They were married over 60 years. Amazing!(Dicky and I are going to make it to 70!) Please keep her in your prayers!

 

But you know me...forever the optimist...there were a couple of happy moments, even through the loss. I got to visit with my old friend and boss, Jim Wells. It was sure good to see you, Jim!!

 

Also saw and visited with one of my most favorite teachers, Mrs. Sawyers was my Home Ec teacher and had a huge impact on my life.

I realized after I asked her to take this pic with me, that maybe it was in bad taste, taking pictures at a funeral. But I was really glad to see her. And I'm glad to have this picture.

 

"OLD" IS THE NEW "NEW"

 

The FUN part. A little crafting...or furniture repurpose/recycling. If you've driven by my house the last two weeks, you probably noticed the file cabinets on my porch.  (yeah, we are a little trashy looking from time to time, but I did mow the weeds this week.)I spray painted them and covered the front with paintable wallpaper and changed out the handles. Easy pick up for a boring file cabinet.

 



 

Almost finished. I haven't taken a pic of the finished product.

 

I also picked up a few (yes, I said a few) console stereos from a friend that was going to throw them out. You know I can't stand to throw something away that can still be used by someone, somewhere. I'm making a clothes hamper out of one, I started it today.

 

I've removed the insides and have it ready to put a new bottom in, paint, and a little burlap, and voila! This one was actually speakers in the bottom and a storage on the top for records.

 

The other three...still working on ideas...but this one is my fav...



Any suggestions? It's pretty cute just like it is! But I may have to part with it due to the fact that we have NO ROOM!

 

And now...I've procrastinated as long as possible...I've got to get to my little workshop room and make some name blocks. In case you don't know what I'm talking about, I have a little, teensy, tiny business making desk name plates and business card holders. Check the Queenie Bee's Hive link on the right. My Etsy shop. Here are a couple I've done this weekend.

 

Nothing fancy, but they are fun!



 

In case you are saying to yourself, "Wow! How does she do it!? How does she have the time?" (That's assuming you talk to yourself, as I do. Kay Postell heard lots of that coming from my office last week, didn't you, Kay?! LOL)

 

Well, the actuality of it is...she doesn't have the time. (She, meaning me.) So when you pop by, and I meet you on the porch and rudely don't invite you in...we'll just pretend my house is spiffy clean and tidy, and that I just wanted a little fresh air! And we will also pretend there isn't a pile of laundry (albeit clean laundry) on my loveseat, taller than the Empire State.

 

Won't be long until you can meet me in the Hag Wagon, and we won't worry about how clean or not quite so clean my casa is!!

 

OH YEAH! The guy has been ginning around next door getting ready to move the house! I told Mr. Smokin that we need to get my camper finished quick, so as soon as the house is gone we can get carports built and fence up! I don't know why he doesn't get as excited about my ideas as I do.

 

OH YEAH! I think the Guthries have decided on a name for my (yes I said MY) grandbaby!! I don't know if they are telling, so I won't, but I love it! And HER already!!

 

And not to leave Chaser and Bekah out of the update...Chase smoked frog legs on his smoker today. He said they were quite tasty! One proud momma here! As long as I don't think about all those little cripple frogs rolling around. :)

 

For real, though. He got offered a new job and I really couldn't be more proud!

 

OK...really gotta go this time. Hope to blog again soon with some REAL updates!Love ya all!! Toodles!