Rollin with my homies..and a REAL Glamper update!!

What?? An update so soon?  

Why yes! Of course! I've been quite the busy bee as you will see in a few! 

But first I've go to shout out to my three favorite girls! I had the best time on a quick run to Hobby Lobby with Bailey, Halle and that woman who gave birth to me, of whom I am not allowed to mention her by name or title in my blog any more. All because of a little personal story I shared last post. Some people are so touchy. (not sure if I practiced the proper use of the whole "who/whom" business. I've always had trouble with that one. But it felt right, and that's what my bloggy is about, so I'm going with it.)

I will say, though, that the trip wasn't quite as quick as intended, and wasn't really all that exciting. But as usual, when you go anywhere with my family, it is never without incident. I won't be able to mention a little run in that someone had with a rolling sock display, because I'm not allowed to use her name here. So I also can't tell you that it mysteriously became securely attached to someone's cart, and was drug halfway through Target before I came to the rescue and detached it. Nor will I tell you that we, or rather someone nameless, did cause quite a stir throughout the rest of the store. For some strange reason, Bailey didn't shop "with" us, but did her own thing. She assured us that she didn't miss a thing, though, that she could hear us from the other side of the store. (They really do need to play some music on the speakers in there.)

If any of you come across the "Biggest Bloopers of Target" video one of these days, please pick a copy up for me. I've no doubt someone I know might be included. Still not naming any names. The shelf corners, building columns, and sock rack will never be the same. 

I really wish I could tell you what happened, but I wouldn't want to get in trouble again! Like she's the boss of me...hmmmph!

Halle Louya sat up the basket all by herself!! Such a big girl already! 

*******

Real world problems this morning.

Clean and then make stuff? Make stuff then clean?

Curtains for my glamper, or catch up on name block orders. 

And...as always... to nap, or not to nap. 

I LOVE naps. But there is such bittersweetness that comes with them. HAPPY when I lay down with full intentions of having a nap. SAD when I wake up and realize I've wasted my day. But if I choose not to nap...HAPPY with the feeling of all I accomplished while not napping. SAD about the fact that I go to work tomorrow and it will be another week until I can have a good nap. What do to, what to do. 

The struggle is real, people. The. Stru. Ggle. Is. REAL!

Oh, yeah? I had a tuna sandwich on a hamburger bun last week. 

*****************   Nap won. But, I think I deserved it. 

OK...Guess what I did yesterday...and this morning??? REAL progress on Ye Ole Hagatha Wagatha!! 

I'm getting really excited! I still have lots to do, but here are some peeks at what I accomplished this weekend!!! 

My Nanny's old cookie jar! Now is Swannie Bob's. Won't be long til it's full of goodies for Miss Halle Bob! 

Back wall curtain and cushions. (still gotta do a little hand sewing. and make more curtains.)

She looks a little creepy here, but I do so love her! Her name is Rose. 

Major progress in the kitchen. Fridge is cold, but not yet stocked.

Wooden cabinet for the bathroom. (Still have some rust work on the stove to do)

"H" for Hag Wagon, of course! 

Dicky Boo Boo came through with some help to finish putting glass in windows and hung a couple of shelves for me. Gotsta have somewhere to put all my goodies! 

I replaced a couple of screens. Front screen door to go and the ceiling vent screen. Not as simple as it looks, but not terribly difficult, either. 

My little baby chandelier is hung. So cutie wootie! Couldnt' get a good picture yet. I'll post it later. 

 I'm saving the floor for last. Still debating on what needs to go there. I'm open for suggestions.

I still have some painting on the outside to do, and a few other things. But Rome wasn't built in a day...nor will my little get-away be. 

Well, time for dinner. Dicky made some awesome shrimp something another...OMGoodness...delish. I need to give this my full attention. Then on to the the workshop to get some blocks done before bedtime. 

Hate to end on a negative note, but word of advice...Don't bad mouth the hand that feeds you it's really bad taste and makes you look like an *donkey*.

Go do something crafty...still a few hours left in the day! 

Toodlooo!

(started finished blog post on the same day!! If only I were still working on my resolution list!)

Resolutions...what a Gas!

Well, well, well...January 5th, and so far I have accomplished #24 and 25 of my resolution list. I did start my 365 day Bible study...yesterday. So I am already behind on that.

I always thought the resolution thing was a big mistake, but I got to thinking about it. Actually you say "This year I resolve to..." I still have 360 days to get it all done! So the fact that I have two accomplished, really puts me ahead of most of you!! :)

Know what else? I'm kinda sick of being back in the groove already. Not because of anyone or thing in particular, but it was really nice sitting at home, no fixing my hair, getting dressed, or not, not talking to anyone all day.

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Day 6 (January 6, that is). I still have 359 days to get it all done! I washed a load of laundry this morning. Was that on my list?

I'm buying some fur coats from garage sale to make some pillows. Who doesn't like a nice fur pillow? Dicky, obviously, because he thinks I'm crazy. But what does he know? HE's crazy. So BOOO!

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Day 9 (January 9). Hair doesn't look so bad today. I put out an effort, so #25 is still in effect. I stopped myself from saying a naughty word today, once. So #6 is in the works.
Practiced on #3,7,13,19 and 20, all at one time. Well...that backfired. I'm not giving up on those, just on the subject that I tried to use them on. Some people don't want love, just attention. It's sad, huh?

My fur didn't come through yet. Boo....

Now...I have a REAL delima. I took my wedding ring off one day during the holidays, when I had to go to the doctor. Put it back on, and now I'm wondering...wasn't the engagement ring part supposed to go closest to your heart? Or is it the other way. It just looks funny. Any help out there? Also...how do you spell delimma? I could GOOGLE for both answers, but I'm really trying to get this to be more of an interactive blog.

Give up...dilemma. Ok there. A lot of help you were. 

Have you noticed the duckface selfie is making a come back? I'm soooo happy! I was embarrassed before, not quite the outgoing hipster that I am now. So I never got to participate. But now, I've decided if all those little hip chicks can do it, why can't I? After all, 46 is the new 26, right? 

Which do you like better? The pooched duck, or the flat mallard? I think both look pretty awesome. 

(For all you young chickadees, you may be younger than me, but you do look every bit as ducky. Might want to rethink that profile pic.) Random act of kindness for the day!! 

*****

Day 13...forget this resolution mess. 352 days to enjoy myself. And I'll warn you before you read any further, I'm feeling rather random today. 

*****

You know what I've decided...the Centers for Disease Control are Freak Flag Instigators. 

They say the "proper" way to wash your hands is to scrub through the time it takes to sing the "Happy Birthday" song twice. Have you heard that?  OK...I do that. But I seem to be the only one. 

First of all, when I get to the part where you insert the birthday person's name, I get stuck trying to remember whose birthday it might be that day. Secondly (because if you have a first, you HAVE to have at least a second.), my hands get all pruned by the time I get through it twice, since I waste that extra time thinking of names. And I say nameS, because if I'm going to sing it twice, it may as well be for two different people. I don't want to waste a song on the same person twice. 

And third...people look at me like I'm a major weirdo singing (and dancing, because that's how I roll when I sing the happy birthday song) in the bathroom in Hobby Lobby, Cotton Patch, Lowes, or where ever. Then I have to face them again when I come out of the bathroom, at which time they have already gotten back with the rest of their party and told them about the weirdo in the bathroom, and they've gathered close by to point me out as I come out of the door. 

OR...at the doctor's office, when there is only a one seater, and it's located in the lobby. It's not my fault the walls are paper thin. It's not like I pooted loudly or anything. I was just washing my hands.

Although...what's the deal about pooting in the bathroom. Name one person that doesn't pass gas. Where are you supposed to go when you have gas? (If you are my dad...you crop dust right behind my mother, then rush ahead of her when there are people coming around the corner.) (Sorry parentals, but he did get a kick out of that one.) (Or how about the time Dicky and I were shopping for ties in JC Penny and a LOUD one escaped, then I couldn't help buy laugh, which only allowed more to escape. The poor little lady shopping beside us almost broke her neck hurrying away!) (TMI again?) Sorry, I have no filter today.

So, anyway, I'll start my letter of complaint...

Dear CDC,
  Please find another song for us to sing while washing our hands. The general public does not seem to enjoy "Happy Birthday to You."

OH...it says hum. So I'm an over achiever. 

Speaking of pooting. Am I the only one that still gets tickled when I hear the name Vladimir Putin? Poor guy. How hard it must have been to grow up with the other boys teasing him, "Ha ha! Your name means fart in English!" 

Ok, I'm a tween age boy. But you know you laugh, too! Whew! That's enough gas talk for a while. Or for ever! Sorry. I got a little carried away. 

*****

I've decided flamingos aren't my favorite anymore. Ostriches are! Because I'm bad axx like this guy! 

*****

OH...I got the fur coats in! I'm trying to decide if I want to make pillows, a throw, or some nice winter shorts for Dicky for his birthday. 

Maybe they whole outfit. I can picture him in this, can't you?

******

I've got to share my recent crafties, then I'll stop the randomness for today. 

And my precious grandbaby finished her first craft project. She was HA-PPY! She's a natural! 

Toodloo for now! Go do something crafty! 

Wavin', Wrappin', and Wishin' a Happy New Year.

(Going to immediately insert another episode of That's just Wrong...hereafter known as TJW...)

Ok, when you are in the shower and you use up, or lose down the drain, the last bit of the paper thin sliver of soap, please have the decency to replace it with a new bar. 

On the bright side, after my shampoo bath, my leg hair has never been so bouncy and full of body! (Oops, it's not No Shave November anymore is it.) (I officially declare DON'T shave December! Jinx on Razors January) I'm saving for Locks of Love. What's your excuse?

You can decide what part of that little story is just wrong...not replacing the soap? Or not shaving? 

I'm thinking about changing the name of my blog, since I'm slow on the glamper  project. Any suggestion? I'm thinking Swannie's Freak Flag, since I seem to use this as an outlet to fly mine high and proud.

Speaking of flags...I finally got in all my cute little kerchief flags for my glamper banner. 

I planned on working on the glamper this vaca, but got the flu, and now it's COLDDDDD. Maybe this weekend. 

*****

So I was so proud. Tree up and gifts bought fairly early. But I couldn't even brag about it. Dang thieves are lurking everywhere. You know they had to be snooping on FB to see who bought the best gifts so they can go all robbin' people and stuff.

Well guess what...I'm planning the "Let's make a Deal" security system. 

We bought new security equipment. And a gun. Cameras. Alarms. Mace. Pepper spray. A new high powered BB gun. And some long range wasp spray. 

Or did we? Maybe we bought some of that, but not all. Maybe we didn't buy any. Hummmm...makes you think now , doesn't it, you bandit, burglar, cat burglar, cheat, clip, criminal, crook, defalcator, heister, highway robber, hijacker, holdup artist, housebreaker, kleptomaniac, larcener, larcenist, lifter, moonlighter, owl, pickpocket, pilferer, pirate, plunderer, porch climber, prowler, punk,  purloiner, robber, scrounger, sniper, spider, stealer, stickup artist, swindler. 

Door Number 1....525g13 pistol. (Sounds like a bad A88 gun, huh?)

Door Number 2...Fierce watch dogs.

Door Number 3 ... High falutin' super sonic wireless, bluetooth, 55megapixel security camera system with automatic handcuffer. 

and maybe a Door Number 4...nothing. 

Which door do you think...Crookers? 

Ok...for real. We DID buy SOMETHING! But not telling what. 

Just kidding. We didn't really. 

Yes we did. 

No we didn't. 

Yes we did...

Bwwwaaahhhh haaahhhaaaa haaaa !!!! Only one way to find out, and I wouldn't try it if I were you. 

(We really didn't.) (yeah...we did!) 

This is like the song that never ends!! 

*****

So Dicky had a dr appt last week. The waiting room is full. The only place there are two seats together are in a "u" shaped setting area with a lady sitting in the bottom of the U alone, and two seats to each side of her. We choose a side that has 3 seats, and leave one between her and us. (or is it "she and us")(or "she and we", LOL) The other side of the U is empty. She sits a little while, constantly swinging and shaking her leg, pretending she didn't see us. Pretending I didn't nicely smile a greeting, because I'm such a nice person. Then suddenly she proceeds to  collect her bags and moves one seat over. Excuse me? Do I smell? 

Or...I was screen shot-ing some things on my phone. Maybe she thought I was taking her picture. Maybe she wanted to move so I could get her in full form. Maybe she's a freak that doesn't like to sit by fat redneck chicks in the dr office. 

Well, I, myself, and karma showed her. Another couple soon came in and took their side of the U, which was even closer to her. She again rearranged her bags so they wouldn't be infected by strangers' looks. Swung the leg even harder. 

And then....I took her picture. 

Ha! I guess I showed her. Who says I can't be mean? I hope she's not trying to be an elf with those green leggings, cause she's missing her hat! And she doesn't look very elfy. And She has big feet anyway. . So there. Boo! (Boy I hope no one that reads this knows this lady! Lol) 

*****

Oh yeah, randomness...but there was a lady in the office named Carne Garcia! Made me hungry for mexican food for some reason...hummm.

*****

Ok, so Christmas was awesome. It was fast and frantic, because we had three get togethers and spent time with both our families. But it was an easy fun day. Parents, kids, grandbaby, sisters, brothers, cousins, great cousins (OK I'll call yall Aunt and Uncle, Linda. LOL), neices, nephews, etc. Ate too much, laughed a LOT!

Dicky bought me the prettiest Pandora and actually put some thought into the charms he bought for it. I love it...and him....mush mush mush...ok ok. (But I do!)

Halle's first Christmas. The little bugger is spoiled rotten already. But you know...that's ok. I figure that's why God gave her to us!  She's, without a doubt, the best gift ever! 

*****

Oh...second randomness, but I need you all to chime in on this. New Year's get togethers have a way of bringing out some very thought provoking questions. Please be honest and either comment on the comments below, or on FB. 

Do you, or have you ever, peed in a hot tub, shower, or bathtub? 

Swimming pools and other bodies of water don't count. Just the three above. We (naming no names) really need to know who are the real freaks. The Pee-ers or the non-pee-ers? 

*****

So now, it's 2015. Snuck up on me. Happy new year. 

I guess I'm expected to make a resolution or two. I've gotten by the last couple of years making my resolution:

"I will not put any undue pressure on myself this year by making resolutions." (AKA, I'm not making resolutions because I don't wanna.)

I really like that one. And I think I'll keep it as a rule of sorts...but something HAS to be done about this extra weight. His cholesterol is too high and it's really not healthy for him. 

OH. You thought I meant MY weight? 

Ok. so I do have one or two REAL resolutions (yes, in addition to the weight thing, blah, blah, blah). 

1. Start my new One Year Bible. Loved Jesus Calling and been through it twice. I'll still count on it, but I think it's time to add to it. 

2. De-clutter...Dicky really has waaayyy too much junk. 

3. Be more positive. 

4. Form my own judgement about people. 

5. Quit listening to gossip. 

6. Quit cussing, dammit!

7. Do at least random niceness everyday.

8. Sew up all my extra material and use up all my craft supplies! 

9. Quit buying clothes that I don't try on first. (REALLY...cause I'm never as, um, BIG as I think I am...LOL) 

10. Quit buying clothes at all. (Because all the clothes I buy that do fit, shrink so stinking fast!)

11. OH.....FINISH THE HAG WAGON!!!!

12. SOON!

13. Make more time for family and friends. 

14. Put down my cell before the battery dies. EVERYDAY.

15. Cook more often, as long as Dicky still goes to the store. 

16. Quit putting so much stock in what others think of me.

17. Keep a neater house, but fret about it less. 

18. Buy a new cell phone with a better battery.(see #14)

19. Be a better friend. 

20. Appreciate my loves more. 

21. Quit eating onions.(I currently have a little heartburn going on.)

22. Come up with a bitchin new password that will work for ALL my needs. 

23. Start the cool little savings jar list. (double duty...if I 

quit on this resolution, at least I will have a little Sonic money built up by mid Feburary)

24. Stop fixing my hair everyday. It looks the same at the end of the day as it does before I wash it in the morning, so why mess with it. (See previous years' resolution.) Besides, Dicky likes my au naturale look...right Babe? (Ok, maybe don't ask him. But I saw how he looked at me this week off, in my no hair fixed, no make up, jammies and blankee on the couch all week) (Ok...maybe I was sick a few of those days and didn't actually look at him to see him admiring me. And maybe he did make a small little eye roll when he came in after the flu days and saw I was continuing my vacation look.) 

25. Forget #24 after January 4th. (Co-workers might not be as appreciative of my natural look as Hubs. 

26. Ride my bike...a lot. 

27. Use phrases and terms as they are meant to be, regardless of what my kids tell me they "really" mean.

28. Publish my blog update on the same day I start it. Even if it's short. 

29. Fly my freak flag higher and be proud! 

30. Love more, worry less, and try to be the best me. 

I hope your look back on your year brought all your good memories and overshadowed the bad. (1 Thessalonians 5:17)

Dude. That's just wrong...

Just because I was thinking about it, decided to do a small non-camper related blog. 

So here are a couple of things that are just wrong...

I love getting pedicures. I love the feel of my chronically crusty heels all smooth and soft. I love the pretty fresh polish on my toes, because I can never get them so smooth and nice looking. I love the hot wax on my legs and feet, so soothing. 

What I don't love? The sweet, smiling oriental girls/guys making small talk across the salon, in their native tongue. 

OK, now before you attack me for dissing these girls for not speaking English, I do realize that some do not know English. I understand that. I am ok with that. And I do think it's cool the way they can talk to each other across a large room with very quiet, little "...ting", "cha-ta...", "...nih..." noises that they can both hear and understand, in spite of the room full of people between them. 

But when this sweet, smiling, cute little girl is sitting, working on my feet with the cheese grater that she's already had to empty twice on the first toe and "ching, ta, crusti, he he heels, ya ya, ooo, ooo, yuk ee woo...he he he", to her co-worker across the room, I start feeling a little self-conscience. 

I think there should be a translation chart on back of the pedi menu card. Or a set of earphones that connects to an auto translator. I know that there is no way they are not talking about the condition of my feet. I mean, come on...they are MY feet. I know they are crusty. Why do you think I'm here. 

That's just wrong. 

YEP...wrong.

Something else that's just wrong...

Mother, Bailey and I had a booth at Trade Days today. We didn't have a ton of customers, but we had a good time. The weather was nice, A little sunny at times, a little cloudy at times, but really very nice. We were on the "good" side of the street, so we got just enough sun to keep us warm. Again...a really nice day. 

Like the good little rule followers we are, we waited until after 5:00 to shut down. That's the rules. So that's what we did. Mother and I were tired and wanted to head on home, but Bailey and Brant were going to stay for the parade. By the time we got though packing up, it was almost time for it, so we decided to stay, too. 

It was a lighted parade, so it was right at dark when it started. The fire engine blares the sirens to signal the start of the procession, so I'm ready! I was surprised, and even mentioned it to someone that was sitting beside me, that while the floats had lights on them, they were not lit up very well. You couldn't see anyone on them very well, or tell how they were dressed, or who they were. 

Over all, a good parade. Lots of entries, lots of people there to watch. 

So it's over, and I finally get to back out of my parking place and head home, I remember that I'm supposed to go by and check a friend's mail for them. I'm driving around thinking...dang, I really don't see so well at night anymore. Maybe it's just because I was downtown in the sun all day. Almost missed friends' house. It was so dark, and their porch light wasn't on. But I found it, nonetheless, and headed home. 

I walked in the house and set my stuff down. Went to the bathroom to check myself out in the mirror. You know, to see how wild my hair was, how good or bad it looked while I was out in public donning it all day. Did I look like a goof all day, or was I still feeling ok with morning primping efforts? (Yeah...smirk if you want, but you know you do it, too.)(Pants on fire if you say you don't!)

Anyway, I'm walking in and look into the mirror..................

 Really???? You don't have a problem joking and teasing about anything else. You didn't mind telling me I didn't need to be dancing to the Christmas music earlier in the day. You didn't mind telling me I did NOT need to be singing along as loudly as I had been. You didn't mind making me take my naked-Southern-Bell-between-the-toe-cigarette-holder ashtray off the table of sale items.

But to question me about why I might feel the need to wear sunglasses at 8:00 in the evening didn't cross your mind?  No one bothered. No one. Although they did tell me the asked each other why the other thought I was still wearing them. They discussed it, more than once, looking at me dancing and waving to Santa on the firetruck, but didn't think they might want to mention it to me. 

ON SO MANY LEVELS...that's just wrong! 

OK, maybe not wrong, but definitely awkward. 

I'm sure there will be more on this topic later...but right now, these are some of my top wrongs...today. 

Firmly Planted!!

WELL, well, well....I've made several attempts at updating my blog recently...only to save it to be published later. So I just kept adding. But now...I have a REAL update!! And...since I don't have a lot of time, I think I'll just leave all this rambling and let the suspense build. And I don't have dates...but this was all around mid Sept though now. 

Also, there is a not so nice picture further down the update, but I thought it was funny, so I'm leaving it. Just wanted to give a heads up in case you have little eyes looking on, and to offer apologies in advance. (But I still think it's funny...)

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I had a tooth pulled recently. For me to admit that publicly, to me, is like saying I'm nasty and let my tooth rot. But I promise I keep a tidy set of teeth! I'm going to blame it on eating too much ice, and biting all those things that Momma used to say, "Stop that! You are going to ruin your teeth!"

So since I'm being so honest and open about my dental woes....I stabbed my hole with a toothpick. 

Yeah, I know that's gross. But...I had to make sure it wasn't macaroni or a sesame seed. The last thing I need is a piece of macaroni getting closed up in my gums, or worse yet, a sesame tree rooting itself in my old rootbed. (Have you ever wondered what sesame grows on? Tree, plant, root? Hummm...I'm going with worst case scenario here. ) 

And my reason for telling it here? Dicky never listens to me. So if I'm found unconscious  in a few months with a tree hanging out of my mouth, I want someone to know why. 

You would not believe the trouble I just had spelling unconscious! Sometimes I forget the goofiest things. The other day at lunch, it took me three tries to put my car in reverse. I had to put it in park and start over. REALLY glad Dicky wasn't with me for that one. Yesterday I completely, honestly, forgot what time we get off work. Rather than asking, I decided I'd just keep working until everyone started leaving. (It's 4:00, by the way.) 

I'm really feeling a large rant coming on. And since it's rained so much, which it makes it hard to get to Hag Wagon, I think I'll do a little venting...

Pet Peeves...

1. (Going withe the tooth theme on this one) When the toothpaste tube is getting low, I take the time to squeeze it all up to the top, to make it easier to squirt out on my brush, and Dicky comes along and uses up my easy squeezes.

2. People who like to tell you how WRONG you are at the last minute of a project, but never offer, in the weeks and months before, any assistance, or any of their expert advice. "Thanks Honey, but you might want to take your expert opinion and go back where you came from, because it and you about to be buried in the hole with the missing time capsules." (If you think this applies to you...believe me it probably does...but it wasn't JUST you. We've had lots of last minute advice.) (And please don't call or message me, because I'll just smile and say, "OH NO...that wasn't you!")

OH...I do have a little glampering to share. I got my chandelier put up. It's really beautiful, three tiered. There has to be thousands of crystal (mind's blank, for the right word) hangy things. The light just sparkles all over the camper so beautifully...wait, prisms, that's the word. I wanted to wait until it was all put together, but what the heck...I'll just show you...
OK...I'll apologize again for the not so G rated picture. But you gotta admit that's funny.

Ok...Dicky, of all people, made me remove it.
"Shellee Denise!!...I can't believe you put that on there!"

3. Sweat....That's probably enough said. But of course I can't stop there. I can no longer venture to the country, or anywhere they raise cattle. Not because I might be mistaken for a cow...cause I am a little large and heifer like (I don't need reassurance on this fact, thank you!), but because I may be trampled by said cows thinking I am a new fangled salt lick. Moo!

I never knew a body could produce so much sweat! I don't THINK I smell...but I certainly drip. Is this hormones? Or am I just leaking that much awesome?

Know how I know this picture is fake?
Her hair is still perfectly coiffed. And I see no "glistening of the skin".
 I can show them real sweat. 

I'll think of more peeves later, but for now, I think I'll share some pics of Halle...my sweetest of sweethearts! 

Dreaming of tea parties in the Hag Wagon.

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Just a few projects I've completed recently...

For our backyard haven, when Haggy gets back there. 

Bracelet buddy "Hootiecal" ... Yes I'm selling these! YOU NEED ONE!

Scavenged desk 

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November 10,2014

Well...I didn't get the above blog posted, so I'll just add to it. A VERY important update...

REAL progress!!! Painted (thought I need to add my details) Hag Wagon is planted in the yard!! Thanks to my honey baby and Ronnie for the awesome paint job! Now I can quit my bit*hin' and get the rest of my part done!!

I should have a great update this weekend, so stay tuned!!!