Ok, when you are in the shower and you use up, or lose down the drain, the last bit of the paper thin sliver of soap, please have the decency to replace it with a new bar.
On the bright side, after my shampoo bath, my leg hair has never been so bouncy and full of body! (Oops, it's not No Shave November anymore is it.) (I officially declare DON'T shave December! Jinx on Razors January) I'm saving for Locks of Love. What's your excuse?
You can decide what part of that little story is just wrong...not replacing the soap? Or not shaving?
I'm thinking about changing the name of my blog, since I'm slow on the glamper project. Any suggestion? I'm thinking Swannie's Freak Flag, since I seem to use this as an outlet to fly mine high and proud.
Speaking of flags...I finally got in all my cute little kerchief flags for my glamper banner.
I planned on working on the glamper this vaca, but got the flu, and now it's COLDDDDD. Maybe this weekend.
*****
So I was so proud. Tree up and gifts bought fairly early. But I couldn't even brag about it. Dang thieves are lurking everywhere. You know they had to be snooping on FB to see who bought the best gifts so they can go all robbin' people and stuff.
Well guess what...I'm planning the "Let's make a Deal" security system.
We bought new security equipment. And a gun. Cameras. Alarms. Mace. Pepper spray. A new high powered BB gun. And some long range wasp spray.
We bought new security equipment. And a gun. Cameras. Alarms. Mace. Pepper spray. A new high powered BB gun. And some long range wasp spray.
Or did we? Maybe we bought some of that, but not all. Maybe we didn't buy any. Hummmm...makes you think now , doesn't it, you bandit, burglar, cat burglar, cheat, clip, criminal, crook, defalcator, heister, highway robber, hijacker, holdup artist, housebreaker, kleptomaniac, larcener, larcenist, lifter, moonlighter, owl, pickpocket, pilferer, pirate, plunderer, porch climber, prowler, punk, purloiner, robber, scrounger, sniper, spider, stealer, stickup artist, swindler.
Door Number 1....525g13 pistol. (Sounds like a bad A88 gun, huh?)
Door Number 2...Fierce watch dogs.
Door Number 3 ... High falutin' super sonic wireless, bluetooth, 55megapixel security camera system with automatic handcuffer.
and maybe a Door Number 4...nothing.
and maybe a Door Number 4...nothing.
Which door do you think...Crookers?
Ok...for real. We DID buy SOMETHING! But not telling what.
Just kidding. We didn't really.
Yes we did.
No we didn't.
Yes we did...
Bwwwaaahhhh haaahhhaaaa haaaa !!!! Only one way to find out, and I wouldn't try it if I were you.
(We really didn't.) (yeah...we did!)
This is like the song that never ends!!
*****
So Dicky had a dr appt last week. The waiting room is full. The only place there are two seats together are in a "u" shaped setting area with a lady sitting in the bottom of the U alone, and two seats to each side of her. We choose a side that has 3 seats, and leave one between her and us. (or is it "she and us")(or "she and we", LOL) The other side of the U is empty. She sits a little while, constantly swinging and shaking her leg, pretending she didn't see us. Pretending I didn't nicely smile a greeting, because I'm such a nice person. Then suddenly she proceeds to collect her bags and moves one seat over. Excuse me? Do I smell?
Or...I was screen shot-ing some things on my phone. Maybe she thought I was taking her picture. Maybe she wanted to move so I could get her in full form. Maybe she's a freak that doesn't like to sit by fat redneck chicks in the dr office.
Well, I, myself, and karma showed her. Another couple soon came in and took their side of the U, which was even closer to her. She again rearranged her bags so they wouldn't be infected by strangers' looks. Swung the leg even harder.
And then....I took her picture.
Ha! I guess I showed her. Who says I can't be mean? I hope she's not trying to be an elf with those green leggings, cause she's missing her hat! And she doesn't look very elfy. And She has big feet anyway. . So there. Boo! (Boy I hope no one that reads this knows this lady! Lol)
*****
Oh yeah, randomness...but there was a lady in the office named Carne Garcia! Made me hungry for mexican food for some reason...hummm.
*****
Ok, so Christmas was awesome. It was fast and frantic, because we had three get togethers and spent time with both our families. But it was an easy fun day. Parents, kids, grandbaby, sisters, brothers, cousins, great cousins (OK I'll call yall Aunt and Uncle, Linda. LOL), neices, nephews, etc. Ate too much, laughed a LOT!
Dicky bought me the prettiest Pandora and actually put some thought into the charms he bought for it. I love it...and him....mush mush mush...ok ok. (But I do!)
Halle's first Christmas. The little bugger is spoiled rotten already. But you know...that's ok. I figure that's why God gave her to us! She's, without a doubt, the best gift ever!
*****
Oh...second randomness, but I need you all to chime in on this. New Year's get togethers have a way of bringing out some very thought provoking questions. Please be honest and either comment on the comments below, or on FB.
Do you, or have you ever, peed in a hot tub, shower, or bathtub?
Swimming pools and other bodies of water don't count. Just the three above. We (naming no names) really need to know who are the real freaks. The Pee-ers or the non-pee-ers?
*****
So now, it's 2015. Snuck up on me. Happy new year.
I guess I'm expected to make a resolution or two. I've gotten by the last couple of years making my resolution:
"I will not put any undue pressure on myself this year by making resolutions." (AKA, I'm not making resolutions because I don't wanna.)
I really like that one. And I think I'll keep it as a rule of sorts...but something HAS to be done about this extra weight. His cholesterol is too high and it's really not healthy for him.
OH. You thought I meant MY weight?
Ok. so I do have one or two REAL resolutions (yes, in addition to the weight thing, blah, blah, blah).
1. Start my new One Year Bible. Loved Jesus Calling and been through it twice. I'll still count on it, but I think it's time to add to it.
2. De-clutter...Dicky really has waaayyy too much junk.
3. Be more positive.
4. Form my own judgement about people.
5. Quit listening to gossip.
6. Quit cussing, dammit!
7. Do at least random niceness everyday.
8. Sew up all my extra material and use up all my craft supplies!
9. Quit buying clothes that I don't try on first. (REALLY...cause I'm never as, um, BIG as I think I am...LOL)
10. Quit buying clothes at all. (Because all the clothes I buy that do fit, shrink so stinking fast!)
11. OH.....FINISH THE HAG WAGON!!!!
12. SOON!
13. Make more time for family and friends.
14. Put down my cell before the battery dies. EVERYDAY.
15. Cook more often, as long as Dicky still goes to the store.
16. Quit putting so much stock in what others think of me.
17. Keep a neater house, but fret about it less.
18. Buy a new cell phone with a better battery.(see #14)
19. Be a better friend.
20. Appreciate my loves more.
21. Quit eating onions.(I currently have a little heartburn going on.)
22. Come up with a bitchin new password that will work for ALL my needs.
23. Start the cool little savings jar list. (double duty...if I
quit on this resolution, at least I will have a little Sonic money built up by mid Feburary)
24. Stop fixing my hair everyday. It looks the same at the end of the day as it does before I wash it in the morning, so why mess with it. (See previous years' resolution.) Besides, Dicky likes my au naturale look...right Babe? (Ok, maybe don't ask him. But I saw how he looked at me this week off, in my no hair fixed, no make up, jammies and blankee on the couch all week) (Ok...maybe I was sick a few of those days and didn't actually look at him to see him admiring me. And maybe he did make a small little eye roll when he came in after the flu days and saw I was continuing my vacation look.)
25. Forget #24 after January 4th. (Co-workers might not be as appreciative of my natural look as Hubs.
26. Ride my bike...a lot.
27. Use phrases and terms as they are meant to be, regardless of what my kids tell me they "really" mean.
28. Publish my blog update on the same day I start it. Even if it's short.
29. Fly my freak flag higher and be proud!
30. Love more, worry less, and try to be the best me.
I hope your look back on your year brought all your good memories and overshadowed the bad. (1 Thessalonians 5:17)
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